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Dictation: "Pupils equal, round and reactive to light." 
Speech recognition (SR): "He was seen there, and reactive to light." 
Pamela Morrow
Conyers, GA

"Patient has a bounding headache." (pounding)
Connie Calvert, RHIA, CCS
Ridgeland, SC

Dictation: "The facia was then taken laterally on both sides using a curved Mayo Scissors."
SR: "The bathroom intact via both sides using curved Mayo scissors."
Nilda Rich
Vancouver, WA

"He presents here with a lung cancer to the palmar surface of his right hand." (Should have said laceration to the palmar surface.)
Gessie Thweatt, CCS, CCS-P
Gastonia, NC

"She had a D&C done in August to remove an IUD retained in Canada."
Lynn Hess, CMT
Kissimmee, FL

"The patient's mother is currently deceased. Her father is also currently deceased." (Maybe tomorrow they won't be?)
Simone
Atlanta

"The patient lives with his mother, father, 10-year-old brother and his sister who is 13 and a dog."
Linda Peterson
Acton, ME

"Social History: The patient is widowed, is a retired machine."
Stephanie Bland, CCS
Danville, IL

ER doctor on discharge instructions: "The patient is to have his nostrils rotated every other day."
Donna Coppin
Fresno, CA

Dictation: "She works 4 days a week at Chic-fil-A."
SR: "She works 4 days a week at Chick Foley."
April Sapp
Asheboro, NC

H&P for a 71 year old: "This is a young female." (Maybe the doctor is older?)
Stephanie Bland, CCS
Danville, IL

ER doctor just before dictation started: "I have one of those, but I don't know what to do with it." (Inspires real confidence!)
Donna Coppin
Fresno, CA

From a mammogram following breast reduction: "The breasts were bilaterally smaller when compared to a previous mammogram, likely due to breast reduction." No kidding?
Shelley Keebler, CCA
Tecumseh, NE

"Physical exam reveals a chronically ill-appearing gentleman sitting in an electric chair in no distress." We knew he meant electric wheelchair, but we couldn't help but get the giggles.
Misty Sonnenberg
San Angelo, TX